There are so many uncertainties, so many speculations and what-ifs that people at this point in life have to face.
In the past few months, as I took my first major subjects and got exposed to a wider assortment of people, there has been this pervading sense of dissatisfaction and restlessness within me. I keep on wondering, "Is this the right thing for me?", "Is this what I want to be doing sixty years from now?"
I don't know, it's probably the mundane and meandering classes, or the unsatisfactory grades, or the overall monotony and painful blankness that come with the business subjects like accounting, law, and statistics that force me to question the state I am in right now. Is it because I simply do not exert the effort? Yes, I'm certainly guilty of that but there is a possibility that the problem is bigger. It may be that I am taking up the wrong course, I sometimes ponder, or even studying in the wrong school.
I am a person more inclined to writing, stories, literature, drawings, arts in general. I do not thrive as much in problem-solving and management as in introspection, reflection, and imagination. I am neither interested nor excellent in what I am doing now, and the absence of both factors is a big problem indeed. It's sad because what I do today will set the course of the next few decades of my life. Again, the what-ifs. What if I had just taken my original course of AB Humanities (or another related course) instead of shifting and ending up where I am now? What if I had followed my heart and studied my dream course (Architecture) in my dream school (U.P.)? It was well within my reach but instead, I listened to my dad's practical advice to study management in Ateneo. Up to now, this bothers me still. I don't know if I will ever be able to get over it.
But here I am now, just a regular, underachieving student in the most populated course in the school. I guess that in the raging battle within me, practicality won over the combined forces of inclination and aptitude. I am stuck with boring lectures about the abstract gibberish of business. I am doomed to always having to worry about financial statements, corporate equities, and other accounting torture. Yes, maybe this is the penalty of my cowardice. This is payment for simply complying with the accepted status quo and shutting out my heart's desire.
I still try to look at the bright side of things here. Studying in one of the best business schools in the country and surrounded by great people, there's not really much to complain about. Although my current course does not lead to happiness and fulfillment in my point of view, it at least promises stability and financial security. Dabbling in the arts will have been a much riskier option, especially in the financial aspect. Secondly, this gives me an opportunity to broaden my horizons, to step away from my comfort zone and meet new exciting challenges. Also, studying business management can help me address my inherent weaknesses and bring a little more discipline, leadership, and organization to my life.
My life right now is at a crossroads. I am at a point wherein every little decision can set me up for success or downfall in the future, which is why I can't help but ponder about these things. I just comfort myself by the knowledge that in front of me a myriad of new opportunities and exciting challenges still await, and they are coming ever nearer within my reach. Beside me are family and friends supporting me, expecting me to step up and become someone. Behind me is a wild and carefree past, abound with lessons from mistakes and what-ifs. And within me is hope - something, I believe, which conquers even the mightiest uncertainties and which helps ease the monotony of it all. Quoting Van Gogh, "For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream."
Life is never a clear path, who knows what the future can hold? Up to now, I am still stuck, still unsure about which choices to pursue but who knows? Someday, somewhere, I just might gather up enough courage to chase after my dreams.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
我的小天堂
我的卧室首先看起来好像没有什么特性。开门一进来，总是会看到卧室非常凌乱 - 有弄皱的毯跟枕头散在地上，各种东西到处乱七八糟的分散。淡蓝色的墙壁有画了一些弟弟的乱涂。对，这个卧室是我跟三个弟弟分享的。难怪会那么混沌.卧室中间是我弟弟们的床。因为我们太多，床又不是很大，可怜的哥哥只好睡与地上的小床垫。床旁边有一个 单色的大内阁让我们放衣装。在另一边也是同样很平庸的窗口。在房间的角落有一个桌子让我们读书。有许多小说和杂志分散在桌子旁边。桌子上面有电脑让我们做功课或者上网。
虽然说我的卧室不是那么特别，它还是我整个房子里最喜欢的房间。虽然凌乱，房间是满活泼的。我进去房间时，好像所有的困难都会忘掉。每个晚上，我们兄弟们会不止的开玩笑，傻傻的大喊大叫，或者会马马虎虎的唱歌。因为有这些多姿多彩的回忆，一个普通的卧室变成了我的小天堂。有时候，我不想再离开卧室了。我好想时间不要再冲过去了。我真想永远保存着卧室里一切珍貴的時刻。
虽然说我的卧室不是那么特别，它还是我整个房子里最喜欢的房间。虽然凌乱，房间是满活泼的。我进去房间时，好像所有的困难都会忘掉。每个晚上，我们兄弟们会不止的开玩笑，傻傻的大喊大叫，或者会马马虎虎的唱歌。因为有这些多姿多彩的回忆，一个普通的卧室变成了我的小天堂。有时候，我不想再离开卧室了。我好想时间不要再冲过去了。我真想永远保存着卧室里一切珍貴的時刻。
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Christmas, Hallowed turned Hollow
Christmas is misunderstood.
All year long, Filipinos look forward to celebrating Christmas, but majority of the populace celebrate it for the wrong reasons. The Philippines is known to have the longest Christmas season in the world, yet this is more the result of the Filipino tendency to dwell on anything festive rather than people actually taking to heart what this season is celebrating.
We Filipinos bother too much with trivial commotion: the intricate decorations, the dazzling lights, the melodious carolings… we know the lyrics and the tunes of the Christmas songs by heart, yet these are but brightly-colored wrappers to a hollow present, shallow distractions that cover up the emptiness of the Filipino Christmas.
Let's be frank about it. People hardly look forward to Christmas because it is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Most people look forward to Christmas because of the shallow reasons of gifts, long holidays, and sumptuous feasts. I admit that I am a victim of this sentiment. During Christmas, the things I usually think about are the amounts I would receive from angpao, or the nostalgia-filled reunions, or the carefree vacations. To be honest, I only ever think about Christmas as a celebration of God's love after I stuff myself with the last piece of lechon or when I splurge using the angpao money and I feel the need to rid myself of guilt.
Those instances have caused me to ponder what the true meaning of Christmas is about, or if Christmas has a meaning at all. There is always this fuss about the true meaning of Christmas, but in fact the true spirit of Christmas is buried beneath the heaps and piles of insignificant fluff that most people associate with the Yuletide season.
What is this "true meaning" then?
Christmas is supposed to be a simple and solemn time of worship. We celebrate the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, birth of our Savior. We celebrate God becoming man out of His infinite love for us. It does not matter that these are Catholic doctrines, what matters is that these beliefs can add a little substance to a raucous and empty Christmas. Instead of immersing in worldly distractions, we have to prepare ourselves and at least attempt to be worthy of God’s love.
The sad reality is that Christmas nowadays is like a loud, wild party wherein everyone enjoys the company of one another but ignores the host of the celebration. The host invites and calls on everyone but they concern themselves with “better” things to do, like lavish gifts, luxurious vacations, and attractive decorations. They forget that the host is the reason why they were in the party in the first place.
It is ironic that we now celebrate Christmas with affluence and extravagance – high spending, overflowing food, and costly vacations, when in fact this extravagance contradicts the very milieu in which Christ is born – in the simplest venue possible, a stable. The first Christmas was a humble affair. God willed it that way. Who are we to contradict God’s example?
There is nothing wrong with festive expressions of Christmas, but they should not be the centerpiece of this Yuletide season. They can complement, but should never replace the position of God and His love as the main focus of Christmas.
The greatness of Christmas lies not in the jubilant celebrations, not even in the gift-sharing or family reunions; its greatness lies in the simple yet overlooked truth that the Christmas season celebrates the commencement of the ultimate sacrifice that led to human salvation, the manifestation of God incarnated into man, and the sublime reminder that God’s perfect love should be emulated by all, not just seasonally but for all time.
All year long, Filipinos look forward to celebrating Christmas, but majority of the populace celebrate it for the wrong reasons. The Philippines is known to have the longest Christmas season in the world, yet this is more the result of the Filipino tendency to dwell on anything festive rather than people actually taking to heart what this season is celebrating.
We Filipinos bother too much with trivial commotion: the intricate decorations, the dazzling lights, the melodious carolings… we know the lyrics and the tunes of the Christmas songs by heart, yet these are but brightly-colored wrappers to a hollow present, shallow distractions that cover up the emptiness of the Filipino Christmas.
Let's be frank about it. People hardly look forward to Christmas because it is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Most people look forward to Christmas because of the shallow reasons of gifts, long holidays, and sumptuous feasts. I admit that I am a victim of this sentiment. During Christmas, the things I usually think about are the amounts I would receive from angpao, or the nostalgia-filled reunions, or the carefree vacations. To be honest, I only ever think about Christmas as a celebration of God's love after I stuff myself with the last piece of lechon or when I splurge using the angpao money and I feel the need to rid myself of guilt.
Those instances have caused me to ponder what the true meaning of Christmas is about, or if Christmas has a meaning at all. There is always this fuss about the true meaning of Christmas, but in fact the true spirit of Christmas is buried beneath the heaps and piles of insignificant fluff that most people associate with the Yuletide season.
What is this "true meaning" then?
Christmas is supposed to be a simple and solemn time of worship. We celebrate the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, birth of our Savior. We celebrate God becoming man out of His infinite love for us. It does not matter that these are Catholic doctrines, what matters is that these beliefs can add a little substance to a raucous and empty Christmas. Instead of immersing in worldly distractions, we have to prepare ourselves and at least attempt to be worthy of God’s love.
The sad reality is that Christmas nowadays is like a loud, wild party wherein everyone enjoys the company of one another but ignores the host of the celebration. The host invites and calls on everyone but they concern themselves with “better” things to do, like lavish gifts, luxurious vacations, and attractive decorations. They forget that the host is the reason why they were in the party in the first place.
It is ironic that we now celebrate Christmas with affluence and extravagance – high spending, overflowing food, and costly vacations, when in fact this extravagance contradicts the very milieu in which Christ is born – in the simplest venue possible, a stable. The first Christmas was a humble affair. God willed it that way. Who are we to contradict God’s example?
There is nothing wrong with festive expressions of Christmas, but they should not be the centerpiece of this Yuletide season. They can complement, but should never replace the position of God and His love as the main focus of Christmas.
The greatness of Christmas lies not in the jubilant celebrations, not even in the gift-sharing or family reunions; its greatness lies in the simple yet overlooked truth that the Christmas season celebrates the commencement of the ultimate sacrifice that led to human salvation, the manifestation of God incarnated into man, and the sublime reminder that God’s perfect love should be emulated by all, not just seasonally but for all time.
Monday, November 19, 2007
In Which I Recount the Various Ups and Downs of the Past Two Months
Finally. After a few months of cold slumber, the inspired writer inside me has awakened once more. Once in a blue moon, and once in a blue mood, words overflow out of me and I have to content myself with typing as fast as I can on the keyboard; fingers rushing to keep up with the outpouring of thoughts. Let me first recount as briefly as I can the events from when I last blogged up to this date. It was an intersting period, one that has more than its fair share of trials and tribulations, pains and joys, struggles and hope.
The month of October is dreaded for its exams,projects and hell weeks, but it is also the month students look forward to for the few weeks of respite it gives. October made my heart jump and ache. It was that stark contrast of emotions that made it such an interesting month for me.
By the end of September, I had already psyched myself that I would be having a hard time in October. However, the preparation proved to be raw as I came face to face with the most grueling and pressure-packed two weeks of my life. There were multiple long tests everyday, sometimes to the point of having three or four in one day. The deadlines were up for the major requirements and the huge projects. The time has come to endure tension-filled oral reports. I had to crawl my way through the hodgepodge of academic demands. Looming over everything was the mounting pressure of the semester being the lowest in my college stay. Time and everything else in the world was not by my side. We tried our hardest to finish the time-consuming projects. With sheer willpower driving me, I forced myself through the accounting exams. I then had a do-or-die moment with my Stat exams. After solving my last Chi-square and ANOVA, I was finally free!
That freedom turned out to be short-lived. We still had a Filipino paper and a megaproject for Statistics. Those requirements totally spoiled my first week of Sembreak. I spent excruciating hours and sleepless nights in front of the computer, absent-mindedly crunching statistical gibberish inside my head. I crunched away, and typed away, and when my eyelids finally turned into lead and my brain into neurochemical soup, I knew that my ordeal was over. I treaded like a zombie to SOM, submitted it, then shamelessly crumpled on the next soft thing I saw... too exhausted to realize that it was the beginning of a one-month long heaven.
When I woke up, oh I enjoyed the best feeling in the world. I was like a genie, free after a thousand-year slavery. I was like a damned soul pardoned and sent to heaven after an eternity in hell. It was as if the world sang melodiously to me. Everything I saw was rainbow. Everything I heard was music. Like they said, happiness is a whole lot sweeter when you've gone through pain. I was filled to the brim with life and hope and dreams. I spent drowsy days reading novels that whisked me to distant lands; I spent sleepless nights watching movies and TV series that portrayed amusing takes on reality. Those were carefree days to load up on things missed during the school year. Those were inspiring times to realize interrupted plans and ungranted wishes. Those were nostalgic moments to reconnect and rekindle the camaraderie between old friends through meals feasted, ballgames played, or simply laughters shared. Everything seemed to glow a little brighter as I enjoyed myself.
Then came the Cagayan trip - the highlight of the Sembreak. Initially I hesitated to go since I thought I had better plans in mind. But then, another voice inside me was incessantly whispering that it could be a memorable adventure. The winning voice turned out to be correct as I had the adventure of a lifetime in Cagayan with my blockmates. I arrived late so I didn't get to do much on the first day. I only got to eat out at a nice restaurant while listening to the tragicomic situation some of my blockmates fell victims to. After that, we as one boisterous circle played the morbidly fun game Werewolf.
The next day, we were off exploring nature in all its itchy and sweaty and unpredictable glory. We did a few legs of ziplining, rapelling, and some trampoline-jumping too. All the activities were scarily exhilarating; you had to keep faith and surrender yourself to whaetever is in store. After a sumptuous (and cheap) lunch/merienda at a five-star resort, everyone went back to the hotel rooms weary and exhausted. However, we had to prepare for Trish's debut. Oh how grand that evening was. Everyone was resplendent in formal attires. I remember awkwardly escorting people back and forth, then clumsily dancing with the debutante afterwards. We stayed there until past midnight to celebrate Trish's debut as everyone danced and chatted the night away.
The following day heralded the most exciting part of our trip - whitewater rafting! My blockmates all felt anxious since we had to sign a contract which stated that we were solely responsible for our lives. We had a stop-over at the "Trying-hard cave", which turned out to be more challenging than what its name makes it out to be. It was pitch-black inside, as if every nook and cranny was soaked with ink. The tryst with the cave was just a harbinger of things to come. Once we reached the raging river, we all knew that it was going to be an unforgettable morning. The mighty currents undulated like a monster roller coaster.It was like the EK Ride Rio Grande but multiplied by ten million. While we moved on the calmer waters, we sang jolly children's songs as we rowed with all our might. Everyone also underwent the "Drop of Death", a crazy, wild act wherein we had to jump from a high high rock down to the raging waters. As we reached shore and rode the jeepney back to the hotel, our faces still reflected the thrill of that once-in-a-lifetime escape from the dull routines of daily life.
That afternoon we decided to do something different and played Counterstrike as one block. It was so much fun! That night, we went to Haze's house to indulge in good food(lechon!), intelligent conversations, and heart-to-heart sharings. We all wanted to make the most of our last night in Cagayan, so we went to a night market to eat balot. We rode back on a "tripney" (a cross between a tricycle and a jeepney, haha)and enjoyed the night atmosphere in Cagayan. After that, everyone went up to our isolated room at the third floor to engage in a slambook session, wherein we would ask each other semi-personal questions. By 3 am, the fourteen people squeezed into two beds: some were shaking in fear (from the horror stories), others were teasing and giggling, but most were snoring. Everyone then decided to call it a night.
The moment we woke up the following morning, we rushed to pack our bags. It was time to leave. Cagayan was one great city, and we left it colored with fond memories. The block Quest to Cagayan was one grand exciting adventure indeed!
When I got home, I subjected myself to even more fun and joy. I spent days strolling around Serendra, Greenhills and other nice malls. I played basketball in Binondo with old friends, then ate like pigs at the nearby restaurants when our legs were about to break. Our family went to Tagaytay for vacation. During my free time, I immersed myself in stories of all forms: from novels to movies to games. That magical week was just the way I wanted life to be.
We got our grades the week after. They were a little better than what I had expected, but would still barely pass off as decent. I decided to make the most of my final week of freedom. I went bowling for the first time in my life with my old blockmates, and though difficult at first, it was a fun and novel experience. A few days later, we went to Enchanted Kingdom with some blockmates. We rode all the scary rides over and over until I grew dizzy with all the heart-skipping heights and brain-numbing loops. We then headed to Tagaytay to chill, relax, and share.
Then came Sunday. I decided to end this fondest of vacations by squandering all my savings on my dream gadget, the PSP Slim. It was like icing on the cake for a great happy vacation.
The first week of school still felt like a hangover of the sembreak. I have my fair share of great teachers once again, and classes are generally (hopefully) easier than that of the past semester. My class days are short, and the workload so far is non-existent yet. I was back to my silent, pondering old self once more. There were lots of times when I walked alone under the scorching sun as noisy crowds passed by and I wistfully thought of sembreak again.
The past few days made me wish for sembreak even more. In a basketball game last Friday, I injured my knee when it collided with a defender while in mid-air. It turned out to be quite serious and now I find it really painful to walk. Worse still, the orthopedic told me that I might not be able to play basketball again. That came as a shock to me and depresses me still. Saturday classes were also disheartening, since I would have to part ways with the fun NSTP block I had last sem. Apparently, the series of unfortunate events would not end. A day after my parents came home from abroad, my dad saw me idle at home and thought that I was going to be late for school (when in fact there was still a good one hour allowance before class) so he did his sermon once again - that I always wasted my time, that I had to change for the better and that I would not be allowed this and that unless he sees that I improve my ways. I just could not take it anymore and I stood up and answered back. However good his intention, his impatience just chokes me so I feel really bad about it. All these occurences were a complete turnaround of what I experienced just one week ago. I wanted to ask why, but just had to console myself with the idea that maybe I already had too much fun and there ought to be some balance in life, or maybe I just accidentally ate beef. But then, I would just have to accept these circumstances and go on with life.
I have come to learn how delicate happy moments are. These treasured moments are as fragile as dreams... they go in full bloom one moment and pop like bubbles the next. However, though life inevitably has its ups and downs, I still try to be hopeful. It is what keeps me going. All the struggles and sorrows in life become worthwhile when we encounter that one single moment which would free us once more and infuse us with hope. That being said, I will try to live life as best as I can until the next moments of heaven come along.
The month of October is dreaded for its exams,projects and hell weeks, but it is also the month students look forward to for the few weeks of respite it gives. October made my heart jump and ache. It was that stark contrast of emotions that made it such an interesting month for me.
By the end of September, I had already psyched myself that I would be having a hard time in October. However, the preparation proved to be raw as I came face to face with the most grueling and pressure-packed two weeks of my life. There were multiple long tests everyday, sometimes to the point of having three or four in one day. The deadlines were up for the major requirements and the huge projects. The time has come to endure tension-filled oral reports. I had to crawl my way through the hodgepodge of academic demands. Looming over everything was the mounting pressure of the semester being the lowest in my college stay. Time and everything else in the world was not by my side. We tried our hardest to finish the time-consuming projects. With sheer willpower driving me, I forced myself through the accounting exams. I then had a do-or-die moment with my Stat exams. After solving my last Chi-square and ANOVA, I was finally free!
That freedom turned out to be short-lived. We still had a Filipino paper and a megaproject for Statistics. Those requirements totally spoiled my first week of Sembreak. I spent excruciating hours and sleepless nights in front of the computer, absent-mindedly crunching statistical gibberish inside my head. I crunched away, and typed away, and when my eyelids finally turned into lead and my brain into neurochemical soup, I knew that my ordeal was over. I treaded like a zombie to SOM, submitted it, then shamelessly crumpled on the next soft thing I saw... too exhausted to realize that it was the beginning of a one-month long heaven.
When I woke up, oh I enjoyed the best feeling in the world. I was like a genie, free after a thousand-year slavery. I was like a damned soul pardoned and sent to heaven after an eternity in hell. It was as if the world sang melodiously to me. Everything I saw was rainbow. Everything I heard was music. Like they said, happiness is a whole lot sweeter when you've gone through pain. I was filled to the brim with life and hope and dreams. I spent drowsy days reading novels that whisked me to distant lands; I spent sleepless nights watching movies and TV series that portrayed amusing takes on reality. Those were carefree days to load up on things missed during the school year. Those were inspiring times to realize interrupted plans and ungranted wishes. Those were nostalgic moments to reconnect and rekindle the camaraderie between old friends through meals feasted, ballgames played, or simply laughters shared. Everything seemed to glow a little brighter as I enjoyed myself.
Then came the Cagayan trip - the highlight of the Sembreak. Initially I hesitated to go since I thought I had better plans in mind. But then, another voice inside me was incessantly whispering that it could be a memorable adventure. The winning voice turned out to be correct as I had the adventure of a lifetime in Cagayan with my blockmates. I arrived late so I didn't get to do much on the first day. I only got to eat out at a nice restaurant while listening to the tragicomic situation some of my blockmates fell victims to. After that, we as one boisterous circle played the morbidly fun game Werewolf.
The next day, we were off exploring nature in all its itchy and sweaty and unpredictable glory. We did a few legs of ziplining, rapelling, and some trampoline-jumping too. All the activities were scarily exhilarating; you had to keep faith and surrender yourself to whaetever is in store. After a sumptuous (and cheap) lunch/merienda at a five-star resort, everyone went back to the hotel rooms weary and exhausted. However, we had to prepare for Trish's debut. Oh how grand that evening was. Everyone was resplendent in formal attires. I remember awkwardly escorting people back and forth, then clumsily dancing with the debutante afterwards. We stayed there until past midnight to celebrate Trish's debut as everyone danced and chatted the night away.
The following day heralded the most exciting part of our trip - whitewater rafting! My blockmates all felt anxious since we had to sign a contract which stated that we were solely responsible for our lives. We had a stop-over at the "Trying-hard cave", which turned out to be more challenging than what its name makes it out to be. It was pitch-black inside, as if every nook and cranny was soaked with ink. The tryst with the cave was just a harbinger of things to come. Once we reached the raging river, we all knew that it was going to be an unforgettable morning. The mighty currents undulated like a monster roller coaster.It was like the EK Ride Rio Grande but multiplied by ten million. While we moved on the calmer waters, we sang jolly children's songs as we rowed with all our might. Everyone also underwent the "Drop of Death", a crazy, wild act wherein we had to jump from a high high rock down to the raging waters. As we reached shore and rode the jeepney back to the hotel, our faces still reflected the thrill of that once-in-a-lifetime escape from the dull routines of daily life.
That afternoon we decided to do something different and played Counterstrike as one block. It was so much fun! That night, we went to Haze's house to indulge in good food(lechon!), intelligent conversations, and heart-to-heart sharings. We all wanted to make the most of our last night in Cagayan, so we went to a night market to eat balot. We rode back on a "tripney" (a cross between a tricycle and a jeepney, haha)and enjoyed the night atmosphere in Cagayan. After that, everyone went up to our isolated room at the third floor to engage in a slambook session, wherein we would ask each other semi-personal questions. By 3 am, the fourteen people squeezed into two beds: some were shaking in fear (from the horror stories), others were teasing and giggling, but most were snoring. Everyone then decided to call it a night.
The moment we woke up the following morning, we rushed to pack our bags. It was time to leave. Cagayan was one great city, and we left it colored with fond memories. The block Quest to Cagayan was one grand exciting adventure indeed!
When I got home, I subjected myself to even more fun and joy. I spent days strolling around Serendra, Greenhills and other nice malls. I played basketball in Binondo with old friends, then ate like pigs at the nearby restaurants when our legs were about to break. Our family went to Tagaytay for vacation. During my free time, I immersed myself in stories of all forms: from novels to movies to games. That magical week was just the way I wanted life to be.
We got our grades the week after. They were a little better than what I had expected, but would still barely pass off as decent. I decided to make the most of my final week of freedom. I went bowling for the first time in my life with my old blockmates, and though difficult at first, it was a fun and novel experience. A few days later, we went to Enchanted Kingdom with some blockmates. We rode all the scary rides over and over until I grew dizzy with all the heart-skipping heights and brain-numbing loops. We then headed to Tagaytay to chill, relax, and share.
Then came Sunday. I decided to end this fondest of vacations by squandering all my savings on my dream gadget, the PSP Slim. It was like icing on the cake for a great happy vacation.
The first week of school still felt like a hangover of the sembreak. I have my fair share of great teachers once again, and classes are generally (hopefully) easier than that of the past semester. My class days are short, and the workload so far is non-existent yet. I was back to my silent, pondering old self once more. There were lots of times when I walked alone under the scorching sun as noisy crowds passed by and I wistfully thought of sembreak again.
The past few days made me wish for sembreak even more. In a basketball game last Friday, I injured my knee when it collided with a defender while in mid-air. It turned out to be quite serious and now I find it really painful to walk. Worse still, the orthopedic told me that I might not be able to play basketball again. That came as a shock to me and depresses me still. Saturday classes were also disheartening, since I would have to part ways with the fun NSTP block I had last sem. Apparently, the series of unfortunate events would not end. A day after my parents came home from abroad, my dad saw me idle at home and thought that I was going to be late for school (when in fact there was still a good one hour allowance before class) so he did his sermon once again - that I always wasted my time, that I had to change for the better and that I would not be allowed this and that unless he sees that I improve my ways. I just could not take it anymore and I stood up and answered back. However good his intention, his impatience just chokes me so I feel really bad about it. All these occurences were a complete turnaround of what I experienced just one week ago. I wanted to ask why, but just had to console myself with the idea that maybe I already had too much fun and there ought to be some balance in life, or maybe I just accidentally ate beef. But then, I would just have to accept these circumstances and go on with life.
I have come to learn how delicate happy moments are. These treasured moments are as fragile as dreams... they go in full bloom one moment and pop like bubbles the next. However, though life inevitably has its ups and downs, I still try to be hopeful. It is what keeps me going. All the struggles and sorrows in life become worthwhile when we encounter that one single moment which would free us once more and infuse us with hope. That being said, I will try to live life as best as I can until the next moments of heaven come along.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
The Majesty of the Universe - Sci 10 Reflection Paper (wala na ma-post e hehe)
In our busy, meandering lives we often get short-sighted, failing to pause and appreciate the things that matter the most. We eagerly snoop about the latest political bickering and showbiz scandal, but neglect to observe and take a meaningful look at the big picture of our existence. We often take for granted that human beings are the only creatures capable of analyzing beyond his immediate surroundings. Very few seem to care that we human beings are in the midst of great things, and are destined for greatness.
Since time immemorial, so many questions, both scientific and otherwise, have intrigued mankind. But as for me, no question has ever been more fascinating than the earliest question man has raised: what lies out there in the heavens above us, and how and why everything came to be.
In the early 20th century, it has been theorized that everything that existed came from a colossal explosion of matter and energy, of time and space, known as the Big Bang. The explosion generated energies so great that it formed the first subatomic particles. These particles then joined together to become the first atoms, and these matter combined to form the stars. The gravitational pull of our own star, the Sun resulted in the accumulation of stardust, eventually materializing into planets. The planet Earth then evolved to become our world today. All the matter in the world, including those inside our bodies, originated from the stars, which in turn arose form the Big Bang.
The progression had been all too perfect. If there had been a minor deviation in any aspect of the evolutionary course of the universe, everything would probably just be one endless pool of heat and chaos. Nothing would have ever existed. If the natural laws and fundamental quantities were simply tweaked a little, like if the strong nuclear force was twice as strong, or if gravity pushed instead of pulled, the universe will have been a cataclysmic mishmash of unknown floating entities. Is it mere luck or probability that came into play in the sequence of cosmic and atomic events that led to today? It almost seems as if the subatomic particles and the fundamental forces conspired to place us here. But quoting Albert Einstein, “God does not play dice with the Universe.”
The universe is fifteen billion light-years across. It holds an unfathomable amount of empty space, trillions of stars, billions of galaxies, and everything else that exists. Scientists have chronicled its fifteen billion years of evolution up to the most miniscule fraction of time. Astronomers have been able to identify the composition of stars and even the estimated amount of matter the universe contains. They have even been able to determine the shape of the cosmos. However, the most fundamental questions remain unanswered. How and why did it all start? What was out there before the Big Bang? How will the universe end? It is beautifully ironic to behold the universe since in the process, we are peering directly unto our origins. What we see is always a picture of the past, of where we came from. However, we have to accept that the limited human mind will never be able to fully comprehend the scope and mysteries of this vast universe. The answers to the origin of everything may even be outside the frontiers of science.
Yes, the questions are still there, probably until the end of time. Half a century after the invention of space travel, we still have not gone past the baby steps we took to reach the moon. As Emil Wiechert said, “The universe is infinite in all directions, not only above us in the large but also below us in the small. If we start from our human scale of existence and explore the content of the universe further and further, we finally arrive, both in the large and the small, at misty distances where first our senses and then even our concepts fail us.“
We may not fully decipher the mysteries of the cosmos, but the sheer fact that we question our origins and ponder our ends is a miracle in itself. Why? In the countless entities that the universe brought about, we are the only ones capable of appreciating its majestic wonder. We are the only ones capable of understanding our oneness with all the matter and energy that ever came to existence. In that sense, we could not simply be by-products of the natural evolution of space and time. We humans could be the very purpose of why the universe came to be.
Despite the assumption that we are the culmination of cosmological progression, it doesn’t alter the reality that our everyday activities are no more significant than the little trailing circles of ants when compared to the workings of the universe. It is humbling to realize that we are but infinitesimal specks amid the glorious enormity of creation. It is beyond overwhelming to grasp that everything we know, everything that has happened to our race is just transpiring in a single dot in the universe.
The modern tools of astronomy not only open our eyes to how majestic the universe is, but also to how tiny we actually are in the scheme of things. Once we realize this, our lives come into clearer focus. We come face to face with a question once again, what is one life compared to the billions of years of existence?
We only come into existence for a brief period of time, not even a fraction of the lives of stars and planets. Therefore, our lives should not merely revolve around mundane routines or worthless activities. We have been blessed with this evanescent opportunity to appreciate and relish what it means to live and behold the greatness of creation. Let us show that we deserve to take part in it.
Since time immemorial, so many questions, both scientific and otherwise, have intrigued mankind. But as for me, no question has ever been more fascinating than the earliest question man has raised: what lies out there in the heavens above us, and how and why everything came to be.
In the early 20th century, it has been theorized that everything that existed came from a colossal explosion of matter and energy, of time and space, known as the Big Bang. The explosion generated energies so great that it formed the first subatomic particles. These particles then joined together to become the first atoms, and these matter combined to form the stars. The gravitational pull of our own star, the Sun resulted in the accumulation of stardust, eventually materializing into planets. The planet Earth then evolved to become our world today. All the matter in the world, including those inside our bodies, originated from the stars, which in turn arose form the Big Bang.
The progression had been all too perfect. If there had been a minor deviation in any aspect of the evolutionary course of the universe, everything would probably just be one endless pool of heat and chaos. Nothing would have ever existed. If the natural laws and fundamental quantities were simply tweaked a little, like if the strong nuclear force was twice as strong, or if gravity pushed instead of pulled, the universe will have been a cataclysmic mishmash of unknown floating entities. Is it mere luck or probability that came into play in the sequence of cosmic and atomic events that led to today? It almost seems as if the subatomic particles and the fundamental forces conspired to place us here. But quoting Albert Einstein, “God does not play dice with the Universe.”
The universe is fifteen billion light-years across. It holds an unfathomable amount of empty space, trillions of stars, billions of galaxies, and everything else that exists. Scientists have chronicled its fifteen billion years of evolution up to the most miniscule fraction of time. Astronomers have been able to identify the composition of stars and even the estimated amount of matter the universe contains. They have even been able to determine the shape of the cosmos. However, the most fundamental questions remain unanswered. How and why did it all start? What was out there before the Big Bang? How will the universe end? It is beautifully ironic to behold the universe since in the process, we are peering directly unto our origins. What we see is always a picture of the past, of where we came from. However, we have to accept that the limited human mind will never be able to fully comprehend the scope and mysteries of this vast universe. The answers to the origin of everything may even be outside the frontiers of science.
Yes, the questions are still there, probably until the end of time. Half a century after the invention of space travel, we still have not gone past the baby steps we took to reach the moon. As Emil Wiechert said, “The universe is infinite in all directions, not only above us in the large but also below us in the small. If we start from our human scale of existence and explore the content of the universe further and further, we finally arrive, both in the large and the small, at misty distances where first our senses and then even our concepts fail us.“
We may not fully decipher the mysteries of the cosmos, but the sheer fact that we question our origins and ponder our ends is a miracle in itself. Why? In the countless entities that the universe brought about, we are the only ones capable of appreciating its majestic wonder. We are the only ones capable of understanding our oneness with all the matter and energy that ever came to existence. In that sense, we could not simply be by-products of the natural evolution of space and time. We humans could be the very purpose of why the universe came to be.
Despite the assumption that we are the culmination of cosmological progression, it doesn’t alter the reality that our everyday activities are no more significant than the little trailing circles of ants when compared to the workings of the universe. It is humbling to realize that we are but infinitesimal specks amid the glorious enormity of creation. It is beyond overwhelming to grasp that everything we know, everything that has happened to our race is just transpiring in a single dot in the universe.
The modern tools of astronomy not only open our eyes to how majestic the universe is, but also to how tiny we actually are in the scheme of things. Once we realize this, our lives come into clearer focus. We come face to face with a question once again, what is one life compared to the billions of years of existence?
We only come into existence for a brief period of time, not even a fraction of the lives of stars and planets. Therefore, our lives should not merely revolve around mundane routines or worthless activities. We have been blessed with this evanescent opportunity to appreciate and relish what it means to live and behold the greatness of creation. Let us show that we deserve to take part in it.
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