With birthdays always come this sense of disbelief, an exclamatory awareness of existence that proclaims the joy of being here, in this world with others. This experience especially intensifies for someone who is about to shed the cocoon of childhood, and enter the unpredictable, exciting yet tumultuous real world. It especially intensifies for someone who philosophizes and theologizes most of the things he sees, and attempts to weave connections in the grand tapestry of life. It especially intensifies for someone who is grounded, thankful, and hopeful. I cannot believe that I am now twenty-one, a full-fledged adult and university graduate. My twenty-one years have been rich with experiences and reflections, with friendship and with love. For every one of my twenty-one years of existence, there are an equal number of reasons to celebrate and love life.
1. God - I have a very complicated relationship with God, stemming perhaps from my view of God as ‘the voice that called the universe to be, and the whisper in my heart that speaks to me.’ He is my creator and my source, yet he is also my friend and closest confidante. He is my life and my purpose, yet also the subject of my doubts and questions. I am thankful to God for bringing me to where I am today. I am incredibly blessed with everything I have, and everything I am. I also feel thankful that I got to know God much better this year, with the in-depth classes in Theo 141, 151, Philo 103 and 104. I am that much more appreciative of my God, and I hope to sustain and extend this faith to my other activities as well.
2. Family - Where will I be without my family? They are my constant source of strength, inspiration, and happiness. My wonderful parents and my dear brothers complete me. They’re the most fun-to-be-with people on Earth, and we can do anything from eating out at midnight to long drives to riding long train rides in Japan to simply hanging around at home, and it’s always a magical experience. My mind is clear and my heart filled whenever I’m with my family. With family like Dad, Mom, Shaun, Ade, and Avery, along with my relatives Aunt Stella, Aunt Beth, Karl, all the others, and our Yayas, life is always colorful and filled with love. Thank you so much.
3. Kim - Kim was an unexpected blessing, and I am most thankful that she came to my life. A lot of times I may have taken her for granted, but day by day I come to appreciate how much she means to me. She’s the person I feel most comfortable with. I just feel so light and happy around her. She may not be the dream girl I envisioned, but she’s so much more… she's the most charming and lovable person I’ve come across, and I am so blessed to share this special connection with her.
4. High School Friends - I am very lucky to have a wonderful high school experience, most especially with 4C. Up to now, I still maintain close connections with many of my high school friends. It’s great that time did not diminish the relationships we shared, and as my world expanded, there are still these friends that I can count on. It’s so heartwarming to realize that the bonds that we shared for seventeen years still hold, and that the future will be that much brighter with them by my side.
5. College Friends and other friends - It was in college where I discovered my core group of friends, along with my best friend. Aside from Saint Jude, I share friendships with Beijing friends, Grace Gospel friends, Zhuhai friends, OJT friends, blockmates, Ateneo classmates, orgmates, friends, and acquaintances. With these friendships, my world has expanded significantly. It feels wonderful to share at least a conversation, a smile, or a greeting with an acquaintance you meet in a hallway. It’s great to have a bunch of people to laugh with, walk with, and identify with. It’s awesome to have a set of friends that you can always count on no matter what. I am very much thankful for the gift of friendship.
6. Teachers - While I am also thankful to my approachable and influential teachers in high school, it was in college where I was truly molded and radically moved by my teachers and educators. In Ateneo, I met sublime teachers who through their lessons, inspired me to become better. I met great teachers who changed my perspective, grounded my purpose, and enlightened my mind. More than the lessons they taught, I was also deeply inspired by the persons that they are, giving their lives in the service of their students and the school. Through the social science subjects, I learned what to live. Through the business subjects, I learned how to live. Through the humanities subjects, especially philosophy and theology, I learned why to live. For these learnings I am deeply thankful to my teachers.
7. My Saint Jude education - More than any other influence in my life, my Saint Jude education shaped me to be who I am today, for better or for worse. My meekness, my threshold for difficulty, my cheery disposition, my comprehensive knowledge of school lessons, all these I developed through my Judenite education. All those nights and mornings memorizing the long literature notes and history lessons sort of paid off with my accredited Level 7 proficiency in Chinese. More than anything though, the memories I carry and the friends I met in Saint Jude are my most valuable takeaways from the school.
8. My Ateneo education - Where will I be without Ateneo? Amidst the regrets and the what-ifs, I am most thankful to Ateneo for one thing - it transformed me to be who I am today. From the aimless, faceless being that I was in high school, I transformed into an ambitious, confident, and idealistic young man for others. Ateneo granted me with an unquenchable thirst for learning, along with the drive to be the best and to make the most out of everything. Ateneo taught me practical business knowledge, interpersonal skills, as well as the meaning of my humanity. Beyond that, Ateneo taught me that the quest for excellence has to be oriented towards uplifting others and glorifying the Lord.
9. Stories - I always immerse myself in stories. I love them so much, stories of all kinds, shapes, and sizes. Whether they be movies, TV shows, games, articles, or books, good stories just fascinate me no end. It’s just amazing how stories can magically weave words, characters and events to elicit emotions, stimulate the imagination, and shed light on the human condition. Stories spice up the blandness of life; they allow one to escape, to dig deeper or to fly higher. I am thankful for the sense of magic and wonder that stories bring to me, and I hope to one day weave my own stories as well.
10. The Big Picture - The big picture is something I share a close affinity with. The greatest moments for me are those when I feel endowed with a million perspectives. It is I at its most noble yet most real. It is recognizing that there is always something higher and greater than the self, or even any or all the fragments of this world - the big picture. It is recognizing that the world is big and beautiful, and more so if it is enriched with an enlightened world view. I love any kind of knowledge and insight for this purpose, for the connections between things that yield a more insightful big picture. Nothing beats the eureka moments of creating connections or completing the jigsaw puzzles of life. The big picture is organic, it just gets bigger, and it offers a rich and unifying perspective of the world.
11. Nature and Traveling - City-dwellers like us often understate nature as nothing more than beautiful scenery, yet there's so much more to it that we take for granted. Indeed, nature reflects the majesty of divine handiwork. Nature can just take our breaths away and get us in touch with our core and the divine. How? It allows us to step out of our comfort zones, and partake in the sheer grandeur of our planet. In line with this, I am so blessed to have travel opportunities almost at least once a year. All in all, I’ve been to Japan, China, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, and Hong Kong. The experience of traveling is always enriching. Not only do you get to expand your horizons about a new country and culture, but you also get to be independent and appreciative of the grand tapestry that is the world.
12. Basketball - What will life be without basketball? For me, it’s so much more than a sport. It’s a therapeutic stress reliever, as well as a physical and social outlet. It’s a way of keeping my body fit, as well as maintaining good camaraderie with friends. It’s also the funnest sport to play and to watch, as there’s always something new and exciting about it. Basketball was my key out of my intellectual and scholastic prison, and I believe I have become a better and more well-rounded person because of this sport.
13. Innovation and the Future - The future fascinates me no end. I have spent countless sleepless nights reading up on new trends about how technology will change the world and make it a better place for man. It always has something new to offer, and it always gives me something to look forward to. Innovation fuels the fire in my belly, makes me giddy with inspiration and passion. With a vision of the future so bright, it is my great hope to have my place in it and ultimately leave my mark.
14. China - China has a special place in my heart. Aside from having Chinese blood in my veins, my weeks in China were also some of the best in my life. Beijing tour was an eye-opening and absurdly fun turning point of my teenage life. Zhuhai was the fulcrum of my college life, and undoubtedly the most wonderful time of my life so far. China is extremely impressive for its rapid development and sheer grandeur. I love it for a greater reason though - China is the breeding ground of my dreams.
15. Technology and Gadgets - I love my gadgets. In fact, I’m typing on one now. My set of gadgets are nothing short of life-changing. For me, each gadget I have brings with it a revolution, a paradigm shift on how I go about my life. They have made life so much more convenient yet complete. My cellphone, which has a high-end camera, nearly unlimited messaging, and other conveniences; my laptop, where I spend most of my waking hours; my Nintendo DS, my newest toy and source of ceaseless fun and pleasure… Even though they are merely gadgets meant to be used as means rather than ends, I am still very thankful for them. I am also equally or even more giddy with the prospect of owning and using new gadgets and the latest technology.
16. Writing - Writing is my life. It has provided me with a core to cling to, and something to be proud of. I write when I am happy, I write when I am sad, I write when I am excited, writing is just so intertwined with my life already. I am thankful for the gift of writing, for my love of writing, for what I bring to writing, and for what writing brings to me.
17. BS Management, Career, and Business - BS Management… another source of constant internal debate and daily dose of what-ifs… I feel blessed and thankful that even though it isn’t as prestigious or as rigorous as other courses, I ultimately made the right choice with it. Its entrepreneurial orientation is in line with my long-term plans. Its holistic training in various business disciplines fits my personality and interests and grants me much flexibility in terms of career options and paths to take. Based on the interviews I’ve gone through, the articles I read, and the prospects I consider, BS Management has sufficiently prepared me for the challenges of the real world.
18. Internet - The world in our fingertips, anytime, anywhere. A playground, office, bar, moviehouse, music player, notepad, the Internet can be anything you want it to be, and it is impossible to live without it. I am thankful to be born in the Internet generation, where information and media is instant and universal, and the whole world is just literally one click away.
19. Opportunities to Help - I am deeply influenced by my Ateneo education and its social orientation. In the past four years, I’ve been involved with ACIL, NSTP, JEEP, Task Force Ondoy, and Immersion, as well as other social ventures like CSR talks and discussions on social entrepreneurship. I hope to extend this to become one of my major career paths. The world is in need of change, and life is so much more meaningful when it is engaged in helping others and promoting change.
20. Hope - I am thankful for the challenges that life has brought, thankful for the way these challenges have reinforced my character and my spirit. As life goes on, I know that it won't be as smooth-sailing as the past twenty-one years; life just gets tougher and more challenging. I am blessed to have a new perspective on hope, Marcel's hope which I learned in Philo 103, that presents a more enlightened view of life's challenges and grants me strength to stand up and fight in the battlefield of life. I am generally a positive and optimistic person, but it is this genuine hope that allows me to transcend the trivialities and tribulations unto the mythic horizon of love.
21. Love - Love makes us human and connects us to humanity. Love is our purpose and our direction, our source and our end. Love is a way of life. Because the world will die without it, go with love. Love is the greatest reason to love life, and the greatest reason to go on living :)
To all that has been, Thank You. To all that will be, Yes.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Learning and Living
I sit here, exasperated, confused, not knowing what to do with my life.
I have spent the better part of my life (seventeen years to be exact) in school. One school year will end, another will begin, and the cycle of homework, deadlines, and exams will start all over again. It was always straightforward, even taken for granted. There were moments of existential groping, but there was never a question of what I would do, it was always studies, school, education, but there was never an urgent “Okay, what now?”
Last March 2, I was thrown into the water unprepared. On my last day in school, the rush of ecstasy was quickly doused by the icy hands of reality. I was running this race all my life, and suddenly, I was at the end of the line. No more straightforward life for you. You’re on your own now. Sink or swim. The moment I went out of Mogwai’s in Cubao after delivering my last ever school presentation, I could swear that I heard a voice screaming, ‘And that was it!’ Until now, I still feel aftershocks of disbelief.
It’s true, man is condemned to be free. When freedom was as limited as it was back in high school, things were simpler and much easier. The freer a man goes, the more complicated life gets. Such is the irony of life. Freedom, I realize now, is like a bright, blinding light. The path is just so clear that you don’t know where to go anymore. There are countless paths to choose from, and you will never know which one is actually the best. In life, nothing is ever completely measurable. There is no direct cost-benefit analysis, no comprehensive SWOT analysis. Life’s just one big gamble.
We practically spent the last seventeen years to raise our odds in the great gamble of life. All those years spent studying not only gave us tools for the intellect; education was itself the tool that constantly chiseled us to perfection. All those late nights mastering algebraic expressions and memorizing chemical symbols, all those tears shed over failed exams and laughter shared over buzzer beater submissions, all these made us live to learn so that we can learn to live.
I have spent the better part of my life (seventeen years to be exact) in school. One school year will end, another will begin, and the cycle of homework, deadlines, and exams will start all over again. It was always straightforward, even taken for granted. There were moments of existential groping, but there was never a question of what I would do, it was always studies, school, education, but there was never an urgent “Okay, what now?”
Last March 2, I was thrown into the water unprepared. On my last day in school, the rush of ecstasy was quickly doused by the icy hands of reality. I was running this race all my life, and suddenly, I was at the end of the line. No more straightforward life for you. You’re on your own now. Sink or swim. The moment I went out of Mogwai’s in Cubao after delivering my last ever school presentation, I could swear that I heard a voice screaming, ‘And that was it!’ Until now, I still feel aftershocks of disbelief.
It’s true, man is condemned to be free. When freedom was as limited as it was back in high school, things were simpler and much easier. The freer a man goes, the more complicated life gets. Such is the irony of life. Freedom, I realize now, is like a bright, blinding light. The path is just so clear that you don’t know where to go anymore. There are countless paths to choose from, and you will never know which one is actually the best. In life, nothing is ever completely measurable. There is no direct cost-benefit analysis, no comprehensive SWOT analysis. Life’s just one big gamble.
We practically spent the last seventeen years to raise our odds in the great gamble of life. All those years spent studying not only gave us tools for the intellect; education was itself the tool that constantly chiseled us to perfection. All those late nights mastering algebraic expressions and memorizing chemical symbols, all those tears shed over failed exams and laughter shared over buzzer beater submissions, all these made us live to learn so that we can learn to live.
Mirrors
There are two types of people - those with mirrors, and those without. With mirror, a person is able to reflect more clearly, he is able to see himself from a third person point of view. If he likes what he sees, he keeps it up. If he doesn’t, he knows what to change. On the other hand, a person without a mirror is very complacent. He is carefree and not very conscious about what people think. A mirrorless man is content with who he is, and very rarely tries to dig deeper or hide. To me, mirrors are both blessing and curse. The mirrored man is self-conscious and self-effacing, often leading to paralysis by analysis, while the mirrorless man is straightforward and transparent. I am much more comfortable to be with mirrorless people… what you see is what you get with them. Meanwhile, mirrored people are like icebergs, with 90% of their identities and intentions hidden from view. In the end though, I believe that it is the mirrored man who can make the more principled and though-out decisions, as well as make the most of himself, while the mirrorless man is the happier and more contented of the two. I myself bear the constant burden of a built-in overarching mirror, always within my eyesight, reflecting my conscious glares. It’s plenty useful especially for a writer, but sometimes I prefer to get lost in the flow at least once. I want to experience what it is like to live in a world without mirrors.
***
I was supposed to end this reflection, but a curious insight came into play after the last line: Indeed, what is a world without mirrors? How will we deal with people when everyone can see us except ourselves? How will the world be when we can see everything except our own faces? I love to do out-of-body imagination experiments, and put myself in the shoes of a man in a mirrorless world. I imagine that it will be a more equal world, because much of what we make of ourselves come from our self-esteem. In a mirrorless world, the ugly man will be that much more confident, while the handsome man will not be as haughty and headstrong. In a mirrorless world, criticisms from other people will rise, but criticisms from the self will fall. We won’t have as clear-cut an idea about who we are, and that can be both good and bad.
***
I was supposed to end this reflection, but a curious insight came into play after the last line: Indeed, what is a world without mirrors? How will we deal with people when everyone can see us except ourselves? How will the world be when we can see everything except our own faces? I love to do out-of-body imagination experiments, and put myself in the shoes of a man in a mirrorless world. I imagine that it will be a more equal world, because much of what we make of ourselves come from our self-esteem. In a mirrorless world, the ugly man will be that much more confident, while the handsome man will not be as haughty and headstrong. In a mirrorless world, criticisms from other people will rise, but criticisms from the self will fall. We won’t have as clear-cut an idea about who we are, and that can be both good and bad.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Teolohiya ng Pagpapalaya - Isang Pagninilay
(Dahil Madami akong Hindi Nasabi sa aking Oral Exams...)
Isang Pagninilay sa Talinghaga ng Aligbughang Anak
Napakabigat ang tanong, “Bakit pa? Bakit pa ako magpapakabuti kung pareho lang naman? Nasaan ang katarungan doon?”
Hindi ko alam ang sagot dito bago ko napag-aralan at natagpuan ang teolohiya ng pagpapalaya. Bilang panganay na anak, madalas ko ring tanungin sa aking sarili kung bakit ganito, bakit ang daya ng mga mas nakababata kong kapatid? Bakit parang nasa akin ang lahat ng bigat at responsibilidad? At sa mas malalim at malawak na konteksto, bakit may mga masasamang tao na nabibiyayaan? Bakit ko kailangang maglingkod sa mahihirap kung sila din ang mga salarin sa sarili nilang kahirapan?Susubukan kong gamitin ang liwanag ng teolohiya ng pagpapalaya para sagutin ang napakabigat na tanong na ito.
Una tayong tumalikod sa Diyos noong panahon pa ni Adan, ngunit patuloy tayong hinahanap ng Diyos. Ipinadala niya pa ang anak na si Hesus para iligtas tayo mula sa pagtatalikod na nagdulot ng mga kasalanang personal at panlipunan. Dahil nakatalaga na ang mga makasalanang istraktura na ito sa kultura at lipunan, madaming hadlang para maging oo ang ating ugat-pasya para sa Diyos at sa ibang tao. Kailangan lang tayong maging bukas sa pag-ibig na ito, kailangan lang tayong lumundag at maniwala sa Salitang puno't dulo ng sanglikhaan, ng Diyos na namatay at muling nabuhay para sa atin. Dito natin nakikita na bukod sa pagiging imahe ng Diyos, katangi-tangi ang tao sa sanglikhaan dahil ang Diyos mismo ay naging tao para lang iligtas ang sangkatauhan.
Dito mababatid kung gaano kahalaga ang dignidad at diwa ng isang tao. Imahe tayo ng Diyos at kasapi sa kanyang pagmamahal at sanglikha. Ang problema dito, karamihan ng tao sa mundo hindi nakakapagtamasa ng ganitong dignidad. Nahihirapan na silang tugunan ang pang-araw-araw na pangangailangan. Napipilay at nabubulag sila sa mga istrakturang panlipunan na kanilang kinabibilangan. Dahil dito, nangangailangan sila ng tulong. Dito na papasok ang mapagtanging pagkiling sa mahihirap, upang mapatunayan na ang pagmamahal ng Diyos ay makatarungan at nakapagpupuna ng mga paghihirap ng mga dukha. Kailangan itong pagkiling na ito hindi dahil paborito ng Diyos ang mga mahihirap ngunit dahil ito lamang ang makapagsasakatupad ng katarungan at pagmamahal ng Diyos. Paano mo mararamdaman ang Diyos kung hindi mo man lang alam kung may makakain ka pa sa sunod mong hapunan? Sila'y mas nangangailangan nito. Tayong mga mas nakaaangat at mas nakakaalam ay dapat ding magkaroon ng mas malaking tungkulin, maging mas bukas sa kanilang mga suliranin at hinaing. Nabiyayaan tayo, kaya't may tungkulin tayong maglingkod at makinig sa kanila. Dito na pumapasok ang usapin ng integral evangelization – bago pa man tuunan ng pansin ang pagiging Kristiyano, kailangan muna mas bigyang diin ang pagiging tao ng mga di-tao.
Sa mga mahihirap tunay na naipapahiwatig ang kalikasan ng pagmamahal ng Diyos. Dito na rin nagiging mas malinaw ang mabibigat na tanong para sa panganay na anak. Sa perspektibong panlipunan, masasabi na ang mga tulad ko na nag-aaral sa Ateneo ang panganay na anak – nabiyayaan, masunurin, ligtas sa panganib. Ang mga mahihirap at nawawalang mga kapatid naman ang mga bunsong anak, na kailangan ng paggabay at pagmamahal. Wala akong karapatang sukatin ang kapasidad at bigat ng pagmamahal, dahil maling motibasyon ito. Hindi maaaring tingnan ang pananampalataya at pagsilbi sa Diyos bilang isang pabigat na kailangang may gantimpala. Una tayong nilikha ng Diyos, wala tayong ginawa upang maging karapat-dapat sa pagmamahal na ito, ngunit nandito pa rin tayo, minamahal. Hindi tayo dapat umiiral, ngunit nandito tayo, dahil sa pagmamahal ng Diyos. Dahil batid ko ang katotohanang ito at nasa posisyon ako para tumulong, tungkulin ko na magbigay ng gabay at pagmamahal sa mga nawawala kong mga kapatid. Hindi ito tinitingnan sa lente ng daya, ngunit sa lente ng laya. Hindi ito paglilimita ngunit pagpapalawak at pagpapatupad ng aking pagkatao. Umiiral na dito ang pagiging propeta ng mga taong may pakialam, kung saan tumataliwas sila sa mga nakatalagang istraktura at nagpapairal ng alternatibong realidad na higit na nagpapahalaga sa dignidad at pagmamahal ng Diyos. Bilang isang tunay na Kristiyano at ganap na tao, kailangan kong sundan si Hesus at ipahiwatig ang aking pagmamahal sa kapwa sa pamamagitan ng kapatiran patungo sa ikabubuti ng lahat Sa gayon, tunay na maisabuhay ang magandang balita na may muling pagkabuhay sa kabila ng kasalanan at kamatayan, na ang Kaharian ng Diyos ay hindi sa isang malayong paraiso ngunit narito sa mundo, at pinakamahalaga sa lahat, na ang una at huling salita ng ating Kristiyanong pananampalataya ay pagmamahal..
Isang Pagninilay sa Talinghaga ng Aligbughang Anak
Napakabigat ang tanong, “Bakit pa? Bakit pa ako magpapakabuti kung pareho lang naman? Nasaan ang katarungan doon?”
Hindi ko alam ang sagot dito bago ko napag-aralan at natagpuan ang teolohiya ng pagpapalaya. Bilang panganay na anak, madalas ko ring tanungin sa aking sarili kung bakit ganito, bakit ang daya ng mga mas nakababata kong kapatid? Bakit parang nasa akin ang lahat ng bigat at responsibilidad? At sa mas malalim at malawak na konteksto, bakit may mga masasamang tao na nabibiyayaan? Bakit ko kailangang maglingkod sa mahihirap kung sila din ang mga salarin sa sarili nilang kahirapan?Susubukan kong gamitin ang liwanag ng teolohiya ng pagpapalaya para sagutin ang napakabigat na tanong na ito.
Una tayong tumalikod sa Diyos noong panahon pa ni Adan, ngunit patuloy tayong hinahanap ng Diyos. Ipinadala niya pa ang anak na si Hesus para iligtas tayo mula sa pagtatalikod na nagdulot ng mga kasalanang personal at panlipunan. Dahil nakatalaga na ang mga makasalanang istraktura na ito sa kultura at lipunan, madaming hadlang para maging oo ang ating ugat-pasya para sa Diyos at sa ibang tao. Kailangan lang tayong maging bukas sa pag-ibig na ito, kailangan lang tayong lumundag at maniwala sa Salitang puno't dulo ng sanglikhaan, ng Diyos na namatay at muling nabuhay para sa atin. Dito natin nakikita na bukod sa pagiging imahe ng Diyos, katangi-tangi ang tao sa sanglikhaan dahil ang Diyos mismo ay naging tao para lang iligtas ang sangkatauhan.
Dito mababatid kung gaano kahalaga ang dignidad at diwa ng isang tao. Imahe tayo ng Diyos at kasapi sa kanyang pagmamahal at sanglikha. Ang problema dito, karamihan ng tao sa mundo hindi nakakapagtamasa ng ganitong dignidad. Nahihirapan na silang tugunan ang pang-araw-araw na pangangailangan. Napipilay at nabubulag sila sa mga istrakturang panlipunan na kanilang kinabibilangan. Dahil dito, nangangailangan sila ng tulong. Dito na papasok ang mapagtanging pagkiling sa mahihirap, upang mapatunayan na ang pagmamahal ng Diyos ay makatarungan at nakapagpupuna ng mga paghihirap ng mga dukha. Kailangan itong pagkiling na ito hindi dahil paborito ng Diyos ang mga mahihirap ngunit dahil ito lamang ang makapagsasakatupad ng katarungan at pagmamahal ng Diyos. Paano mo mararamdaman ang Diyos kung hindi mo man lang alam kung may makakain ka pa sa sunod mong hapunan? Sila'y mas nangangailangan nito. Tayong mga mas nakaaangat at mas nakakaalam ay dapat ding magkaroon ng mas malaking tungkulin, maging mas bukas sa kanilang mga suliranin at hinaing. Nabiyayaan tayo, kaya't may tungkulin tayong maglingkod at makinig sa kanila. Dito na pumapasok ang usapin ng integral evangelization – bago pa man tuunan ng pansin ang pagiging Kristiyano, kailangan muna mas bigyang diin ang pagiging tao ng mga di-tao.
Sa mga mahihirap tunay na naipapahiwatig ang kalikasan ng pagmamahal ng Diyos. Dito na rin nagiging mas malinaw ang mabibigat na tanong para sa panganay na anak. Sa perspektibong panlipunan, masasabi na ang mga tulad ko na nag-aaral sa Ateneo ang panganay na anak – nabiyayaan, masunurin, ligtas sa panganib. Ang mga mahihirap at nawawalang mga kapatid naman ang mga bunsong anak, na kailangan ng paggabay at pagmamahal. Wala akong karapatang sukatin ang kapasidad at bigat ng pagmamahal, dahil maling motibasyon ito. Hindi maaaring tingnan ang pananampalataya at pagsilbi sa Diyos bilang isang pabigat na kailangang may gantimpala. Una tayong nilikha ng Diyos, wala tayong ginawa upang maging karapat-dapat sa pagmamahal na ito, ngunit nandito pa rin tayo, minamahal. Hindi tayo dapat umiiral, ngunit nandito tayo, dahil sa pagmamahal ng Diyos. Dahil batid ko ang katotohanang ito at nasa posisyon ako para tumulong, tungkulin ko na magbigay ng gabay at pagmamahal sa mga nawawala kong mga kapatid. Hindi ito tinitingnan sa lente ng daya, ngunit sa lente ng laya. Hindi ito paglilimita ngunit pagpapalawak at pagpapatupad ng aking pagkatao. Umiiral na dito ang pagiging propeta ng mga taong may pakialam, kung saan tumataliwas sila sa mga nakatalagang istraktura at nagpapairal ng alternatibong realidad na higit na nagpapahalaga sa dignidad at pagmamahal ng Diyos. Bilang isang tunay na Kristiyano at ganap na tao, kailangan kong sundan si Hesus at ipahiwatig ang aking pagmamahal sa kapwa sa pamamagitan ng kapatiran patungo sa ikabubuti ng lahat Sa gayon, tunay na maisabuhay ang magandang balita na may muling pagkabuhay sa kabila ng kasalanan at kamatayan, na ang Kaharian ng Diyos ay hindi sa isang malayong paraiso ngunit narito sa mundo, at pinakamahalaga sa lahat, na ang una at huling salita ng ating Kristiyanong pananampalataya ay pagmamahal..
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
It's been a year...
Since I last posted here.
Time is indeed a thief
Who steals tomorrow
And only leaves you with yesterday
Time is a machine
With future as raw material
And past as the product
As I reread my previous posts
Of struggle and salvation
I can't help but smile
A knowing smile
Been there, done that
I can't believe I'm actually finished
I marvel at the speedy flight of time
Oh how much has changed
Yet nothing changed at all
Time is indeed a thief
Who steals tomorrow
And only leaves you with yesterday
Time is a machine
With future as raw material
And past as the product
As I reread my previous posts
Of struggle and salvation
I can't help but smile
A knowing smile
Been there, done that
I can't believe I'm actually finished
I marvel at the speedy flight of time
Oh how much has changed
Yet nothing changed at all
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sugal
Saan ko isusugal itong kaisa-isang buhay na ito? Sa payak at madaling buhay ba? Sa mahirap ngunit makahulugang buhay? Sa kayamanan, karunungan? Sabi ni Aristotle sa kanyang Nicomachean Ethics, ligaya ang puno’t dulo ng buhay ng tao. Naniniwala naman ako dito. Ngunit anong daan ang aking tatahakin upang makamit ang tunay na ligaya? Ano ba ang ligaya para sa akin? At paano ko ibabahagi ang ligayang ito sa ibang tao at sa mundo? Sa puntong ito, ang tanong na “saan ko isusugal ang buhay ko’ ay nagkakaroon ng mas malalim na kahulugan at kahalagahan. Isang buwan na lang, magtatapos na ako sa aking pag-aaral at sasabak na sa mundo. Anuman ang aking pipiliin ay siguradong makakaimpluwensiya sa mga susunod na yugto ng aking buhay. Masasabi talagang pagsusugal ito dahil walang paraan upang malaman ang kahihinatnan ng desisyong ito. Anuman ang kalalabasan nito, ako lamang ang mananagutan.
Ano na nga ba ang gusto kong gawin sa buhay?
Malalim ang naging impluwensiya sa akin ng teolohiya at pilosopiya sa pagbabago ng aking pagtingin sa buhay. Bago ako pumasok sa Ateneo, limitado at masyadong optimistic ang tingin ko sa buhay. Sa kolehiyo nagising ako sa realidad. Hindi pala ganon kasimple at kadali maging isang bantog na manunulat. Oo nga naman, isa lang ang J.K. Rowling sa mundong ito. Namulat din ako sa aking hilig sa iba’t ibang bagay, mula sa teknolohiya at internet, hanggang sa mga tula at nobela, at pati na rin sa negosyo at ekonomiya.
Pangarap ko pa ding maging isang manunulat. Naniniwala ako na dito pa din nakatuon ang aking angking talento at hilig. Naniniwala pa din ako na kahit papano, makakapag-iwan ako ng ambag sa mundong ito sa kapangyarihan ng kwento’t salita. Ito pa din ang tumutulak sa akin na mag-aral at mabuhay, at ito pa rin ang aking pangarap at panaginip.
Subalit, kailangan nga namang ibalanse ang panaginip at realidad. Sa Marso, magatatapos na ako sa kursong BS Management. Sa apat na taon ko sa kolehiyo, inaral ko kung paano magpagalaw at magpalago ng pera. Unti-unti na rin namang nabuo ang aking hilig dito. Ngunit kapag isipin ay taliwas naman ang practical na pamumuhay na ito sa aking romantikong panaginip na maging isang manunulat.
Sa ngayon, bukas ako sa mga posibilidad. Puwede akong magtrabaho sa mga bangko at kumpanya bilang management trainee o tauhan sa marketing, sales, o business development. Puwede din naman akong mag-aral ng Master’s in Economics sa Ateneo habang part-time na nagtatrabaho. Puwede rin akong magturo ng wikang Tsino at tumulong sa Kaisa. Puwede din akong maging freelance na manunulat habang tumutulong sa aming negosyo. O puwede rin akong makipagsapalaran sa ibayong dagat - Canada, China, US, Singapore, Japan, UK - para muling mag-aral at magtaguyod ng bagong buhay doon.
Talaga namang napakaswerte ko na 20 taong gulang ako dito sa malawak na mundong buntis sa kahit anong posibilidad bunga ng pag-unlad ng internet at globalization. Gaya ng parating sinasabi ng aking guro sa pilosopiya, ‘Sa mga nangyari, Salamat, at sa mga mangyayari, Oo.”
Ano na nga ba ang gusto kong gawin sa buhay?
Malalim ang naging impluwensiya sa akin ng teolohiya at pilosopiya sa pagbabago ng aking pagtingin sa buhay. Bago ako pumasok sa Ateneo, limitado at masyadong optimistic ang tingin ko sa buhay. Sa kolehiyo nagising ako sa realidad. Hindi pala ganon kasimple at kadali maging isang bantog na manunulat. Oo nga naman, isa lang ang J.K. Rowling sa mundong ito. Namulat din ako sa aking hilig sa iba’t ibang bagay, mula sa teknolohiya at internet, hanggang sa mga tula at nobela, at pati na rin sa negosyo at ekonomiya.
Pangarap ko pa ding maging isang manunulat. Naniniwala ako na dito pa din nakatuon ang aking angking talento at hilig. Naniniwala pa din ako na kahit papano, makakapag-iwan ako ng ambag sa mundong ito sa kapangyarihan ng kwento’t salita. Ito pa din ang tumutulak sa akin na mag-aral at mabuhay, at ito pa rin ang aking pangarap at panaginip.
Subalit, kailangan nga namang ibalanse ang panaginip at realidad. Sa Marso, magatatapos na ako sa kursong BS Management. Sa apat na taon ko sa kolehiyo, inaral ko kung paano magpagalaw at magpalago ng pera. Unti-unti na rin namang nabuo ang aking hilig dito. Ngunit kapag isipin ay taliwas naman ang practical na pamumuhay na ito sa aking romantikong panaginip na maging isang manunulat.
Sa ngayon, bukas ako sa mga posibilidad. Puwede akong magtrabaho sa mga bangko at kumpanya bilang management trainee o tauhan sa marketing, sales, o business development. Puwede din naman akong mag-aral ng Master’s in Economics sa Ateneo habang part-time na nagtatrabaho. Puwede rin akong magturo ng wikang Tsino at tumulong sa Kaisa. Puwede din akong maging freelance na manunulat habang tumutulong sa aming negosyo. O puwede rin akong makipagsapalaran sa ibayong dagat - Canada, China, US, Singapore, Japan, UK - para muling mag-aral at magtaguyod ng bagong buhay doon.
Talaga namang napakaswerte ko na 20 taong gulang ako dito sa malawak na mundong buntis sa kahit anong posibilidad bunga ng pag-unlad ng internet at globalization. Gaya ng parating sinasabi ng aking guro sa pilosopiya, ‘Sa mga nangyari, Salamat, at sa mga mangyayari, Oo.”
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Growing Up
It's down to the last few hours of a wonderfully eventful summer vacation.
My last summer vacation, my last first day, my last year in college.
The beginning weeks of this year’s summer vacation felt like a journey back in time, back to cheery afternoons and family holidays, video games and storybooks, binge eating and oversleeping. There was a time when I would take these things for granted, a time when I was too excited to grow up and chase my dreams. This time however, I dearly held on to every last vestige of that fleeting childhood. It was not too long ago when I would spend my summers taking some superfluous class in the mornings, playing Scrabble and Monopoly in the afternoons, and laughing around with my brothers in the evenings. My heart still desires to relive those Neverland moments, but my mind is telling me to move on and get ahead.
And so as April crawled by, I reluctantly passed on my final opportunity to be a bum and decided to look for work. Luckily, I stumbled upon one and for the next five weeks, I immersed myself in the toxic delights of the corporate world. I got a glimpse into the proverbial ‘real world' through the prism of enlightening experiences, new friends, and a fresh environment. The journey that commenced with my foray into the hallowed triumvirate of business subjects (Mkt, POM, Fin) finally found direction this summer.
The few weeks of work made me realize both the benefits of classroom education and the value of experiential learning. But at the same time, it also made me reflect on the one vital question haunting corporate life - How meaningful is it really to dedicate one’s youth, intellect, and energies simply to enrich my company and its shareholders? Indeed, the practicum was a significantly eye-opening experience.
More than that, it also served as a springboard from teenage to adult life. There is a sudden sense of maturity that comes with working for one’s wages, even if only for a practicum. I felt that some of my youthful idealism morphed into adult practicality in the course of those few weeks at work. I also felt this sort of change in my friends and batch mates.
A few years ago, conversations with friends centered on video games, basketball, and outings. This time around, most conversations revolved around electives, further education, business, and corporate life. Everything seemed to have a more practical edge to them. We never do anything just for the sake of doing something anymore. Everything we do has to bolster our credentials, improve our skills or fatten our resumes.
This is an interesting time - a time when every little step today will prove to be a giant leap for tomorrow, a time of being on the brink, yet not quite. Growing up is indeed an interesting time, for it brings a sense of finality for what has been and a sense of freshness for what will be.
Finalities and endings always roll between the sweet flavor of accomplishment and the bitter taste of farewell. Yet the coming of these bittersweet sentiments also marks that precious time of reflection between leaving behind and moving on. This summer has been exactly that - an invaluable, inevitable transition between the carefree clutches of childhood and the arduous, exciting world of grown-up life.
Growing up certainly means going beyond, but I hope it does not mean leaving behind. Nevertheless, it has been a wonderfully eventful summer vacation for me. Thus I will end with a memorable quote from my philo teacher –
“To all that has been, Thank you. To all that will be, Yes.”
My last summer vacation, my last first day, my last year in college.
The beginning weeks of this year’s summer vacation felt like a journey back in time, back to cheery afternoons and family holidays, video games and storybooks, binge eating and oversleeping. There was a time when I would take these things for granted, a time when I was too excited to grow up and chase my dreams. This time however, I dearly held on to every last vestige of that fleeting childhood. It was not too long ago when I would spend my summers taking some superfluous class in the mornings, playing Scrabble and Monopoly in the afternoons, and laughing around with my brothers in the evenings. My heart still desires to relive those Neverland moments, but my mind is telling me to move on and get ahead.
And so as April crawled by, I reluctantly passed on my final opportunity to be a bum and decided to look for work. Luckily, I stumbled upon one and for the next five weeks, I immersed myself in the toxic delights of the corporate world. I got a glimpse into the proverbial ‘real world' through the prism of enlightening experiences, new friends, and a fresh environment. The journey that commenced with my foray into the hallowed triumvirate of business subjects (Mkt, POM, Fin) finally found direction this summer.
The few weeks of work made me realize both the benefits of classroom education and the value of experiential learning. But at the same time, it also made me reflect on the one vital question haunting corporate life - How meaningful is it really to dedicate one’s youth, intellect, and energies simply to enrich my company and its shareholders? Indeed, the practicum was a significantly eye-opening experience.
More than that, it also served as a springboard from teenage to adult life. There is a sudden sense of maturity that comes with working for one’s wages, even if only for a practicum. I felt that some of my youthful idealism morphed into adult practicality in the course of those few weeks at work. I also felt this sort of change in my friends and batch mates.
A few years ago, conversations with friends centered on video games, basketball, and outings. This time around, most conversations revolved around electives, further education, business, and corporate life. Everything seemed to have a more practical edge to them. We never do anything just for the sake of doing something anymore. Everything we do has to bolster our credentials, improve our skills or fatten our resumes.
This is an interesting time - a time when every little step today will prove to be a giant leap for tomorrow, a time of being on the brink, yet not quite. Growing up is indeed an interesting time, for it brings a sense of finality for what has been and a sense of freshness for what will be.
Finalities and endings always roll between the sweet flavor of accomplishment and the bitter taste of farewell. Yet the coming of these bittersweet sentiments also marks that precious time of reflection between leaving behind and moving on. This summer has been exactly that - an invaluable, inevitable transition between the carefree clutches of childhood and the arduous, exciting world of grown-up life.
Growing up certainly means going beyond, but I hope it does not mean leaving behind. Nevertheless, it has been a wonderfully eventful summer vacation for me. Thus I will end with a memorable quote from my philo teacher –
“To all that has been, Thank you. To all that will be, Yes.”
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