Tuesday, January 29, 2008


All of us have used Wikipedia for research, but I wonder how many share my new hobby? Yes, from that lame title you can probably guess that it's... reading WIkipedia articles for fun! Call me whatever you like but it's unexpectedly fun and incredibly addictive. You start off searching for something, then you find one link that catches your attention. You click on it then you find even more links that interest you.

You can learn the most important things, like economics or computer engineering, free and unobstructed. On the other hand, you can also search about the most inconsequential things, like anime or actors' biographies or a movie synopsis, and gobble up knowledge to your heart's delight. Either way, it made me realize that everyday experiences and even school only cover such a limited spectrum of learning. Reading random articles about my interests sparks up more excitement in me than school ever can. In fact, Wikipedia has become a guilty pleasure for me.

There are some nights when I just intend to check my mail and see who's online, then a random thought like Honda CR-V or Erap or Harvard University just pops up, and I begin to search and Wikipedia just steals the entire night from me. I get too engrossed in the pool of knowledge, clicking on link upon link, attempting to but never fully satisfying my intense curiosity for almost anything.

I love WIkipedia so much that I think it should win an award as the best invention of all time, for what other device can level the intellectual playing field and empower any ordinary guy to learn things that even Ivy-League PhDs could not have dreamed about? Okay, now that I've made my point and even exaggerated it a little, I'll resume hunting for interesting Wiki articles, and commence another night of WIkifun :)

At a crossroads...

There are so many uncertainties, so many speculations and what-ifs that people at this point in life have to face.

In the past few months, as I took my first major subjects and got exposed to a wider assortment of people, there has been this pervading sense of dissatisfaction and restlessness within me. I keep on wondering, "Is this the right thing for me?", "Is this what I want to be doing sixty years from now?"

I don't know, it's probably the mundane and meandering classes, or the unsatisfactory grades, or the overall monotony and painful blankness that come with the business subjects like accounting, law, and statistics that force me to question the state I am in right now. Is it because I simply do not exert the effort? Yes, I'm certainly guilty of that but there is a possibility that the problem is bigger. It may be that I am taking up the wrong course, I sometimes ponder, or even studying in the wrong school.

I am a person more inclined to writing, stories, literature, drawings, arts in general. I do not thrive as much in problem-solving and management as in introspection, reflection, and imagination. I am neither interested nor excellent in what I am doing now, and the absence of both factors is a big problem indeed. It's sad because what I do today will set the course of the next few decades of my life. Again, the what-ifs. What if I had just taken my original course of AB Humanities (or another related course) instead of shifting and ending up where I am now? What if I had followed my heart and studied my dream course (Architecture) in my dream school (U.P.)? It was well within my reach but instead, I listened to my dad's practical advice to study management in Ateneo. Up to now, this bothers me still. I don't know if I will ever be able to get over it.

But here I am now, just a regular, underachieving student in the most populated course in the school. I guess that in the raging battle within me, practicality won over the combined forces of inclination and aptitude. I am stuck with boring lectures about the abstract gibberish of business. I am doomed to always having to worry about financial statements, corporate equities, and other accounting torture. Yes, maybe this is the penalty of my cowardice. This is payment for simply complying with the accepted status quo and shutting out my heart's desire.

I still try to look at the bright side of things here. Studying in one of the best business schools in the country and surrounded by great people, there's not really much to complain about. Although my current course does not lead to happiness and fulfillment in my point of view, it at least promises stability and financial security. Dabbling in the arts will have been a much riskier option, especially in the financial aspect. Secondly, this gives me an opportunity to broaden my horizons, to step away from my comfort zone and meet new exciting challenges. Also, studying business management can help me address my inherent weaknesses and bring a little more discipline, leadership, and organization to my life.

My life right now is at a crossroads. I am at a point wherein every little decision can set me up for success or downfall in the future, which is why I can't help but ponder about these things. I just comfort myself by the knowledge that in front of me a myriad of new opportunities and exciting challenges still await, and they are coming ever nearer within my reach. Beside me are family and friends supporting me, expecting me to step up and become someone. Behind me is a wild and carefree past, abound with lessons from mistakes and what-ifs. And within me is hope - something, I believe, which conquers even the mightiest uncertainties and which helps ease the monotony of it all. Quoting Van Gogh, "For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream."

Life is never a clear path, who knows what the future can hold? Up to now, I am still stuck, still unsure about which choices to pursue but who knows? Someday, somewhere, I just might gather up enough courage to chase after my dreams.

Sunday, January 20, 2008


Visit my online scratch paper at http://iscratchpaper.tumblr.com!;)

Monday, January 14, 2008


我的卧室首先看起来好像没有什么特性。开门一进来,总是会看到卧室非常凌乱 - 有弄皱的毯跟枕头散在地上,各种东西到处乱七八糟的分散。淡蓝色的墙壁有画了一些弟弟的乱涂。对,这个卧室是我跟三个弟弟分享的。难怪会那么混沌.卧室中间是我弟弟们的床。因为我们太多,床又不是很大,可怜的哥哥只好睡与地上的小床垫。床旁边有一个 单色的大内阁让我们放衣装。在另一边也是同样很平庸的窗口。在房间的角落有一个桌子让我们读书。有许多小说和杂志分散在桌子旁边。桌子上面有电脑让我们做功课或者上网。