Sunday, August 26, 2007
Today I was off to even more excitement. I was with my aunt the whole day as my parents went with brothers to Saint Jude's first-ever Family Day. Uncle, Aunt, cousin, and I first went to St. Peter for a baptismal ceremony. It was rather dragging with the rituals and everything, and Fil 14 discussions strangely kept on popping out in my head. When it ended, we proceeded to Kaisa Heritage Center to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the Chinoy org. I met numerous prominent people there, all cordial in spite of their high status. We listened to a talk by marketing expert Josiah Go about Blue-Ocean strategy (a new business concept), and it was very interesting and highly relevant, especially to my course. Mom and Dad picked me up from there to proceed to Divisoria Mall. Following a purchase of a cheap made-in-China DVD player, we headed straight home for a DVD marathon of Evan Almighty, Meet the Robinsons, and The Illusionist. Entertaining and stimulating movies, all three.
Tomorrow, our family will go to the temple to commemorate the Chinese Month of the Dead. I also plan to finish Coraline and then get over the boatload of pending schoolwork. Then, I still have to go to a toystore for Psych. Too much to do, too little time.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Looks like I'm feeling poetic right now. Let me post my emo rants set in an imagined scenario strung together to form a crude poem, which I submitted for bonus points in Fil =)
Note: It is the persona speaking in the poem, not me, haha. Also, this is just about 25% based on real life.
Isang mahiwagang ngiti
At natunaw ang aking damdamin
Isang mahinhing haplos
At nahulog ang aking bituka sa galak at kaba
Nang ako’y iyong kinausap
Ang tinig mo’y kay rikit na himig!
Humantong sa tawanan at konting kwentuhan
Unti-unting nasulyapan ang ginto mong puso
Hay, tuluyan na yata akong nalason ng pagmamahal
Isang araw, lumikas ka mula sa aking landas
Walang paalam, parang bula, nawala na lang
At ako’y napatulala, naghihintay sa iyo
Handang ialay ang lahat makita ka lang muli.
Nako, kinulam na ako ng iyong kagandahan
Dahil sa bawat sinasabi, kinikilos, at iniisip
Tanging ikaw ang naaaninag
Bakit hindi ko matakasan?
Nagdurugo na ang puso ko
Nag-aasam na mapuna mo ang kawalan sa gitna nito
Kasalanan bang ibigin ka,
Kaya ako pinaparusahan ng ganito?
Durugin na lang nawa ang aking puso
Nang mapakawalan na ang pait at sakit
Sa bawat paghinga
Napupuno ako ng matinding kalungkutan
Sa kaalamang wala nang pag-asang
Maibalik pa ang matatamis na gunita
Sa pagtulog na lang ako aasa
Makita muli ang iyong mahiwagang ngiti
Kahit sa panaginip lamang
Released from the shackles
of pains and mighty struggles
So awake, so alive
So upbeat, so much to do
A flurry of emotions flow wild
like leaves playing with the cheery breeze
into a special hallowed tavern
where pleasant feelings are unmasked for what they are
Ingredients generated by the senses
gathered by the heart
processed by the mind
and stirred by the soul
An outburst of ecstasy
a spark of magic
a blast of excitement
a blanket of security
a whiff of relief
a dash of inspiration
a pinch of faith
a bond of friendship
a surge of love
an outpouring of hope
and a spirit of fulfillment
Through life's great miracle
Unbelievably I have come upon
the recipe for happiness.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
|Your Dominant Intelligence is Intrapersonal Intelligence|
Reflective and thoughtful, you enjoy spending time alone.
You are good at analyzing yourself - and knowing your true feelings.
Totally self aware, you are in tune with your dreams and desires.
A spiritual and philopsophical person, your inner calmness inspires and helps others.
You would make a great philosopher, researcher, or theorist.
Friday, August 17, 2007
今天我到我父亲办公室里帮忙。 我只花两个小时左右，爸爸给我做的事已经完整了. 在那边真没事做。剩下的时间我就在电脑上网。几个小时玩电脑后，我好想睡觉. 我那時应该读算术， 但是太懒惰。我一直想... 下次再读了，现在轻松一下。 不用担心, 因下个星期二才有上课。
Saturday, August 11, 2007
JS Prom. These six letters could never justify the wonderful memories we had of that magical night. Writing this article months after the Prom, I could still make out vivid pictures of the elegant Grand Ballroom, amidst dim yellow lights, where all were in their most beautiful, dancing the night away.
Before the Prom
I didn’t expect the JS Prom to be much, really. Just another school event, I thought. But, as the weeks were drawing close to Prom Night, I was starting to feel a surge of tension and excitement.
Questions bugged my mind. Who is going to be my partner? What will I do? I can’t dance!, and more such questions.
So, expectedly, many hearts, including mine, were pounding real fast as the list of partners were distributed to classrooms. Dozens of people immediately jostled their way to the list. Seconds later, faces were instantly transfigured, clearly expressing exultation and contentment. Other faces looked disfigured, reflecting their disappointment.
With my mind silently screaming ‘
That day, fifth floor and sixth floor corridors were buzzing with not-so-hushed voices. Sino partner mo?, Ano OK ba yung akin?, Maganda ba?, Mabait ba? An atmosphere of excitement was starting to build up.
Days passed, until the arrow of time reached the night before the Prom. I was starting to get anxious. I didn’t know exactly what to wear yet. I have never even worn a coat and tie in my fifteen years of existence. Fortunately, my dad assisted me. At the last minute, I was able to find a decent set of clothes and with a sigh of relief, slept.
The Day has come...
At 7:30 AM, our classroom still had more than twenty empty chairs. Where have all the people gone? The day before, I heard that some girls were going to have a beauty rest, to diminish dark eyebags. Others simply had the whole day eaten up by various beauty rituals. Many boys, meanwhile, opted to play Counterstrike at
As the dismissal bell rang, excitement was crawling over my body. I thought about how my partner was going to turn out. Each of the people I asked said similar things about her. They said that she’s ok. Cheerful, friendly, kind, and a bit shy were the adjectives that were constantly mentioned. So far, so good. Only time can tell if these proved true.
Going home, I met some of my classmates who just had half a day of fun playing computer games at
I hurriedly took a bath, prepared my things for an overnight stay, dressed up, and put hair gel, too much hair gel I’m afraid, hehe!
Three and a half hours to go! I was in the car making phone calls to my friends. I was already feeling so anxious about looking lost and alone in the grand hotel that I had already formulated a plan. Simple yet effective. I would hide inside the cubicle holding my bulky coat and baggage while waiting for them to check in. That way, I wouldn’t have to look like a stupid walking closet at the lobby.
Fortunately, I had no need for the plan. My friends had already checked in, Room 1614, I was told. I quickly went up, now feeling a bit disoriented as I could hardly take in the sight of Judenites, familiar faces, in elegant attires crowding the lobby. I reached the door, 1614. I knocked about a hundred times before I received a text message. “Rum 1625 pla! Sori…”
Finally, with my hands sore from the heavy baggage, I got into the room. I was completely overwhelmed! I couldn’t even walk straight into the room. It was that crowded. People – batch mates, friends, even some seniors, probably thought our room was something of a waiting room. They were busy doing all sorts of stuff. Some were chatting, others were spraying perfume, still others were wearing socks, one had just emerged from the bathroom, or fixing their ties…etc. It was a somewhat pleasantly weird and weirdly pleasant experience for me.
I joined my friends Adriel and Winston to go down to
Winston bragged about going to Lacoste to buy his perfume. I and Adriel, as if daring him, just obliged. Realizing that I had no perfume yet, I innocently asked the lady in charge, “Pwede pasample?”. I sprayed the perfume on myself twice. As I put it down, I could hardly believe what I read – 1500 pesos for this small bottle of perfume! So, this explained why the sales lady was glaring at me. I just flashed my most naive smile, then tiptoed all the way to the exit. The three of us were all too afraid to talk.
We continued our window-shopping as if nothing had happened. We met our fellow batch mates Cyril, Paul, Warner, Deric, and Mcgregor. They were all holding bunches of beautiful flowers so we asked where they bought those.
At last, with vague directions from them, we managed to reach the flower shop. I bought a bouquet. We waited for an eternity until we received the flowers. I think this bouquet is beautiful enough, I thought.
We made a leisurely trip back to the hotel. By that time, Judenites could be seen in every corner of the hotel, all armed and ready for the Big Night.
I went back up to our room and took a rest. It was almost too late before I realized, the Big Night was just ten minutes away, and I was still dressed in T-shirt and jeans!
I nearly fell down the carpeted floor as I hurried to wear my formal attire. But then, I realized, it was hard to do anything at all if you are in the midst of chaos. Wild and frantic arguments and monologues could be heard in every corner of the room. The problems tackled in those arguments and monologues ranged from disheveled ties to low supply of hair gel to missing socks to stolen bouquets. Clearly, everyone was in a state of emergency and panic.
We rushed towards the elevator, and as it opened, saw the elevator packed with juniors and seniors as I have never seen before. They were all so well-dressed and dazzlingly beautiful.
We hurried down to the ballroom and it was there that I finally managed to catch my breath. Whew! Just in time. Looking around, my eyes were treated to a visual feast of magic and splendor. So, this was the fabled JS Prom. At last, I am here. I am certain that most of my batch mates’ minds were thinking the same.
I never imagined the prom to be what it was that night. Before it had even started, I knew that it was going to be the most magical night of my life. Again, I was sure that most felt as I did.
I chatted with my friends and acquaintances with much amusement about the unexpectedly mesmerizing outfits of the teachers as we waited for the minutes to tick away.
As I entered the ballroom, I didn’t know what to expect. It was as if everything and everyone in that room was coated with an aura of magnificence and grandeur. I sat down nervously, tapping the table, simply watching the passers-by with awe. Am I in a dream? I was certain I was.
After fifteen minutes, the night had officially begun. And, soon enough, my eyes landed on a girl dressed in an elegant black gown. I instantly recognized her as my partner, Hazeline. I could see that she was also nervous.
I forgot the etiquette of pulling the chair for the partner. I just smiled at my embarrassment. With shaky hands, I gave the bouquet to her. I’ve never even done anything like this before, I thought.
I was immediately comforted as she smiled, “Thank You.” Two words were enough for me to realize, she was kind and cheerful.
A few minutes passed by. I looked around. Most people were silently staring at the tablecloth of their tables. So, I wasn’t alone in my nervousness.
I finally broke the ice by saying to her, “Ba’t parang sobra kang kinakabahan?” She just smiled and I was certain that from that point, she felt a bit more comfortable. She asked, “What course do you like to take?”
The conversation then drifted from college life, to senior life, then to subjects at school, our interests, movies and books we liked, and many more. I learned that she was going to take up medicine and that she had a great interest for biology.
From what I heard from my “tablemate” Royce, my partner, Hazeline, was extremely intelligent and a consistent honor student. I wasn’t surprised. It was evident in the way she spoke and in the topics we talked about.
As I was busy eating dessert, a presentation was projected. Every eye gravitated towards it. It showed pictures of the seniors in their “good old days.” Those scenes were truly poignant. All the pictures showed how strongly they were bonded as a batch, in good times and in bad. A feeling of sadness engulfed me in the knowledge that they were going to go, and, fifty two weeks from that moment, we will, too.
Then came the presentation of the lists of talents each junior and senior had. I will never quite understand why my name was first on the list in the Calligraphy category. Just then, I recalled moonlighting a calligraphy “business”. OK, enough of that.
After that, was when the real fun began.
As music was being played, students slowly crowded the dance floor, until, the atmosphere was hot, elated, and wild. It was absolutely pure fun! The milieu was uncontrollable yet romantic, upbeat yet mellow. I think the dance floor would have broken if the people danced any longer. Dance, dance, dance! For me, that was the climax of the event. Everybody was high, letting go of shyness and forgetting all the troubles of school to enjoy those moments of heaven. I hesitated to join at the beginning but conceded for two reasons; one, a friend made me realize that that was the only time we ever get to experience that level of energy from everyone; and two, I was constantly being pulled by who-knows-who so I didn’t really have much of a choice. Finally, midnight came. Time really flies when you’re having a great time. It was unfortunate that Prom Night would have to end so soon. But then, for me and many others, the night had just begun.
After the prom…
We rushed back to our rooms after bidding goodbye to everyone. The night had gone, but it would always be in our hearts, so special, so memorable. We decided to go to Starbucks to chill out but were lured into going to Timezone. We couldn't resist the temptation. We played, played, and basically burnt our money, but it was well worth it. It was truly once in a lifetime, to be in the arcade, with your friends, doing anything and everything. It may seem nothing much, but I’ve never felt freer! Aaron and I finished Time Crisis 3 after throwing away three hundred pesos, all at his expense. We then played some kiddie games like mini basketball, bowling, and hit-the-monkey. Then, we decided to play Dance Revo. It lasted a total of five seconds before the screen went blank with one word written, “failed.” That was a solid proof as to how bad a dancer I am. After that, we exchanged all our tickets for…five colored balls; a proof that we’re little children trapped in teens’ body. At about 2:00 am, Timezone closed. But it wasn’t the end of the fun, we were just warming up. We proceeded to our original destination, Starbucks. We found it packed to the brim with Judenites, drinking and chatting. I met and chatted with a lot of friends who were hanging out there. It was the most memorable visit to Starbucks I ever had. We walked leisurely back to the hotel, amidst the velvet sky and cool midnight breeze.
The next thing we did was room-hopping. We spent an hour chatting and playing slap-jack; with a twist, the loser will strip. Of course, it wasn’t for real, hehe.
We went back to our room at about 4:00 am. As we were eleven in the room, and the bed only fits two or three at a time, we took turns sleeping, one hour for every person.
When it was my turn, the noise of the PS2 kept me awake so I just enjoyed the bed with friends until I got up and slept no more. We played pusoy dos; of course with a wager, whoever loses must drink a shot of wine. After Joshua nearly finished the bottle, we already saw people swimming. Our curiosity got the better of us so we used a videocam to zoom in and see who’s swimming - all Juniors. We planned to swim but I felt tired. As the PS2 was, at last, free from itchy hands, I played NBA Ballers. I was so much engrossed into the game that I failed to notice that it was already 8:00 am. We debated on who will eat the breakfast. I won! I went down with Joshua and though there wasn’t really anything special, ate four full plates, just to make good on my opportunity.
After eating, I could barely move so I went back to my room to sleep. Finally, free of noise. I dozed off. After two hours, as my eyes opened, I saw startled to see a dozen people surrounding me. That was really crazy, and it was somewhat embarrassing with so many people watching you sleep.
Not long after, it was already check-out time. I rushed to pack my things and went down with haste. As I walked on the carpeted floor towards the exit, I knew that the best night of my life had ended. Every experience always has to come to an end, but the memories born from it are forever cherished in the heart and the mind. JS Prom 2005 may be long gone, but it will continue to live on in my heart, always to be cherished, to be treasured, for it is one of the greatest things that’s ever happened to my life.
With less than two hours of sleep last night because of the History Long Paper, and an NSTP session from 7:30-4:30, it feels so refreshing to sit back, be idle, and have my long-awaited nice, long sleep. At this moment, I'm being possessed by some soul since I suddenly feel the urge to organize the files in my computer. (Files in my computer = years of clutter = gigabytes of trash)
Next week is hell week, with a couple of long tests and some deadlines to beat. I must resist my strong desire to wander off to do better things. Must study... Must study.
28 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU ARE FILIPINO CHINESE
1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save
and reuse the wrapping (and especially those ribbons).
2. When there is a 50% sale on shirts, blouses,
shoes, you buy them even if you don’t really like the
color or style, even if they’re one size bigger or
smaller than your size. You convince yourself, your
spouse or your kids to wear them. And if they
disagree, you rationalize your insane act of buying up
everything on sale by saying that you’ll think of
someone to give it to that’s one size bigger or
smaller than yourself, your spouse or your kids.
3. You or your parents keep a Thermos of hot water
available at all times.
4. You save grocery bags and plastic containers. You
use the grocery bags to hold garbage.
5. You hate to waste food:
a ) If someone says they're going to throw away the
leftovers on the table, you'll finish them, even if
you’re really full. (Your mom will give a lecture
about starving kids in Africa)
b ) You have Tupperware in your fridge with a few
spoonfuls of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
6. You don't own any real Tupperware - only a
cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed take out
containers, distilled water bottles, ice cream
containers. You re-use peanut butter jars as
containers for your sugar, coffee creamer and powdered
7. You have a collection of miniature shampoo
bottles, soaps, toothbrushes, mini-tubes of toothpaste
that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
8. You wipe your plate and tableware or wash them
with hot water before you eat every time you go to a
9. You own a rice cooker and a slow cooker.
10. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before
11. You hunt for Chinese restaurants offering a
special promo when eating out with friends but you
fight (verbally) over who pays the dinner bill. You
never leave a tip if you see the words "service
charge" on your bill.
12. You convince your kids not to destroy the box of the new toy and to play with
it carefully but only for a little while so that you
can give it to someone else’s kid as a birthday or
13. If you're under age 30, you own an iPod; if
you're over 30, you own a good digital camera,
expensive mobile phone and a cheap 2nd phone.
14. Your other mobile line is Sun cell because of
their 24/7 promo. You do your darnest best to max out
this promo. You never use your other mobile phone to
call a Sun subscriber.
15.You only make overseas calls using cheaper
networks or during off-peak hours.
16. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs
still attached - it means they're fresh.
17. You buy shirts, shoes for your kids one size
bigger so that your kids can wear them longer.
18. If you don't live at home, when your parents
call, they'll ask if you've eaten, even if it's
midnight or way past meal time.
19. When you are sick, your parents tell you to stay
inside, drink lots of water, not to eat fried foods
because they're “hot” (“ya dyet”).
20. You text or e-mail your Chinese friends at work,
even though you only sit 10 feet apart. You YM your
friends overseas instead of calling them because it’s
21. You always cook too much but starve yourself at
home so you'll look slim in case you happen to meet
your high school and college friends.
22. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl.
23. You starve yourself before going to an
24. You know someone who can get you a good deal on
jewelry, electronics, appliances.
25.You are aware of every 3-day sale that goes on in
town and buy stuff marked 50% off even if you don’t
need them right away or want them at all. You peel
off the "50% off" label and save them till you can
give them away as Christmas presents or birthday
26. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin
before they are thrown away.
27. You wrap with napkins all the knives, spoons and
forks of the airline you fly on and put them in your
travel bag as souvenirs.
28. You never forget to take with you all the unused
bath and facial tissues when you check out from the
hotel because you believe that you have paid it all.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
As with life, I do things here not in bursts but in explosions. I have the worst habit of doing things in one big go. I rely on inspiration rather than consistency. I go for adrenaline rather than discipline. I prefer the most otherworldly and impossible short-cut rather than a tedious long way.
Unfortunately, my way rarely works.
Throughout the course of my teenage years, I have attempted over and over to search for the reason why I cannot transcend my inadequacies as a person. Recently, I finally discovered the root of Scott's evil: inertia.
I have too much inertia inside me; that is, I remain in a constant state of rest or motion unless acted upon by an immensely powerful force. When I do something, I can keep myself busy for hours without really accomplishing anything. In short, I have been wasting an immensely huge chunk of time, time that I could have invested to develop myself and devote to people I care about. I feel that I had been running on a treadmill for eighteen years: tiring myself, going nowhere.
Inertia affects me in almost anything that I do. It caused my failures in highschool, when laziness paralyzed me and stunted my personal growth. It afflicts me until now in college, even if I'm receiving better grades. This inertia has fragmented my entire college experience. There are times when I study and write papers one whole day straight. Conversely, there are times when I don't even open any of my books for weeks, except when in school. My academic life has been more of spurts and streaks rather than a long, smooth, straight line to desirable grades.
I am particularly affected by inertia in social situations. Even if I have the intention of saying something or doing something for somebody I care about, I just can't. I just can't. There are instances when I wish to express how thankful or how happy I am to a person. The feeling wells up within me until it's about to pour out, then something heavy drags it back once more, and then all I could muster is just a smile. It gets really frustrating if it happens all the time. I have lost the capability to be genuine and spontaneous because of too much inertia. I plan something, map out something, then when the time comes for me to execute the plan, it doesn't work out, Oftentimes, it doesn't even materialize at all. I have passed on so many opportunities in academics, friendship, money, love, and other things because of my inability to move without strong plodding from others. I am continually being overtaken and I'm getting used to it. On the rare occasions that I accomplish something, it feels awkward, it feels unnatural, it doesn't feel like inertia-stricken me at all.
Right now, I'm in limbo. I'm not much more real than a phantom. I am neither here nor there, no real identity, no profound connections, nothing to prove, nothing to be proud of... absolutely nothing. I have the influence and strength of an evanescent reflection. I feel divided into millions of fragments and dimensions, each having a different identity and set of ideals. Inertia has manipulated my life, and being pulled in a thousand different directions doesn't help either. Life is a vast ocean, but my confused soul is stuck in the trench, desperate to come out and roam freely, but gradually forgetting and foregoing the will to do so.
Right now, I am overwhelmed with misery. People in my life are at first eager and hopeful, infusing me with as much fuel as they can. However, I am an engine without wheels. I am struggling, giving all my might to move forward for the sake of the people I love, but I lack the means to do so. In the end, they lose patience and move on with life, while I am still stuck, with only inertia by my side, both my closest companion and deadliest enemy. Right now, all I'm holding on to is a glimmer of hope that I still have a chance to break free from the clutches of my inertia and that all will eventually be well.
Simpsons the Movie and Ateneo-La Salle Game - Oh that was a day I would relive over again if I had the chance! I nearly cracked my ribs watching Simpsons the Movie; it was soooo funny, the jokes ranged from graphic to slapstick to witty humor. I don't think I ever laughed so hard and frequently in a movie before. Afterwards, I went on to watch the replay of the Ateneo-La Salle Game. The game was a nail-biter from the tip-off - good as advertised. While I was watching, I could feel the school spirit surging within me, the Atenean inside me screaming and cheering with every great play the Blue Eagles make. Heart-stopping action all throughout! Best game of the season, bar none.
LS Field Trip - It was more interesting than expected. I was quite inspired by the Honeybee Farm Guy, leaving his studies and his life to chase a dream. I wonder whether it's still possible today... At Gourmet Farm and Gardenia Factory, I got to bond with my old blockmates from P1 by playing a rowdy bout of card games. Then, in the bus, we had the innumerable stories of Mr. Sabug's foreign escapades to entertain us. All in all, it was a fun, insightful but draining trip.
Whole day NSTP - Honestly, I never thought NSTP would be fun. Of course, it's partly because we have a cute classmate in NSTP who's kind and friendly too, making everyone go crazy over her haha. But seriously, it's very fulfilling to teach and impart computer know-how especially to people who need it. (In our case, we taught public school teachers. =) As a bonus, I get to sharpen my MS Office knowledge too!
Cesca's Debut - After NSTP, I took a rest, dressed quickly, and rode to Makati. It was a mini-reunion of sorts for me and my old blockmates. It was as traditional as a debut could get. Birthday girl and debutante Cesca was the resplendent star of the night. Afterwards though, someone got afflicted with camwhoring virus. It spread like an epidemic and as a result, we clicked and photographed the night away, taking 100+ pictures in about half an hour haha!
Accounting Long Test - After all the fun and happiness there's the dreaded Accounting Long Test. I wouldn't want to comment on it except that I felt much better about the test than the first one. One thing though, I detest Kim Chew!!! She should rot in hell solving accounting problems for eternity! To think that I religiously followed her teleserye last year... XD
What transpired in between these "events" can be summed up as school-eat-net-tv-sleep - repeat cycle a zillion times. Not that I'm complaining... =)